Bp Miller’s Musings on Matthew 18.21-35

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

The parable of the unforgiving servant seems to conclude a brief period of Jesus teaching on sin and forgiveness. The parable concludes with what appears to be some harsh judgement: “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (NRSV). This leads to great consternation among us as we wrestle with what it means to forgive from our heart.

Can this parable mean to say that God will withhold forgiveness from anyone who fails to forgive? If so, it seems we are all doomed. In my observations, forgiveness does not come easy. We might want to forgive. We might know that to forgive brings freedom to the one who forgives. We might even say we forgive; but in our hearts?

Our hearts hold on to grudges longer than we care to admit, and for good reason. When someone sins against us, it causes us hurt. As hurts pile up, it becomes more difficult to ignore; they become reminders of the sin. If only we could forget, forgiveness would come more easily.

So then, does Jesus put before us an impossible goal? What hope do I have of receiving God’s forgiveness if I cannot find the strength within me to forgive from my heart? Today I wonder if that is the point: we cannot forgive; we cannot reach the standard set by God. Perhaps this parable and the concluding admonishment is meant to show the ridiculousness of the question Peter asks: “How much must we forgive?”

In one way, the answer is obvious: “Not seven times but seven times seven.” But it seems, perhaps, that the more subtle answer is like what I say about a menu at a fancy restaurant: “If you have to ask, you cannot afford it.” If we find, like Peter, that we must ask how many times we must forgive, we will find ourselves in an impossible bind. Forgiveness is not something to be measured out. Forgiveness can only come freely, without cost to the one forgiving and therefore cannot be counted.

Martin Luther turns things around when he writes about the Lord’s Prayer in his catechisms. Whereas the prayer and the parable seem to put priority on our forgiving others, Luther shifts the focus to God’s forgiveness as empowering and enabling us to begin to forgive. It is only by God forgiving us that we can forgive others in turn—and even our failure to hold up to this expectation can be forgiven by God.